Change It

When my oldest daughter was little she had an old calculator she liked to play with. It was one of those old thick ones, that was the size of our current cell phones. The batteries were removed, but she still liked to be able to push the buttons. She would put it in her play purse and carry it around. This was before cell phones. She just liked to carry something that she could push buttons on. 

One night she was standing in front of the TV, pointing the calculator at it, pushing the buttons, and saying, “change it!” She did this several times before her dad and I realized what she was doing. She wanted the show on the TV to change to something else! 

I feel that way today. I feel like I am pointing a remote at the world and shouting, “change it!”  I don’t like this channel. I don’t want this forecast. I don’t like what I am seeing or hearing. “Change it!” 

I’m not really sure what I want it changed to. I just don’t want it to be where we are right now. I want to fast forward to when this season is over. To the new season, whatever that is, to start. 

Just as my daughter had no control over the TV with her calculator. I have no control over what is happening in the world either. I can not rewind my life and go back and fix things I wish I could. I can not put my life in slow motion and savor the times I wish I hadn’t rushed through. I definitely can’t fast forward through this time of social distancing. 

As I take all my ‘I wants’ and ‘I wishes’ to the Lord, he answers me with a gentle, “trust me!” As tears of doubt roll down my cheeks, He reminds me of days in the past when He has strengthened me. When He has carried me through days of hurt and fear before. When He has answered my prayers of anguish with comfort and help from others. 

His word reminds me in Psalm 9:10 NIV “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” 

He is faithful. He is trustworthy. He is in control. 

He was with me then, He is with me now, and He is already with me in the future. 

As this gentle reminder to trust him washes over me and seeps into the broken places in my heart, I acknowledge this is a season of trust. To trust that He is surely in control. A reminder to trust that He is always with me in my loneliness. A promise to trust He is truly for me and not against me. 

To trust. 

Is this a time when you need to release your hold on something and open your hands to a trustworthy God? Is this a moment for you to remember his faithfulness to you in your past? What is this season for you? 

Dear Lord, I need you and I trust you. Help open my eyes to all you are doing through this challenging time that causes fear and doubt. Please guard my heart and mind to keep your peace and hope that only you can provide. Help me to accept this day and this moment and to trust in You. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.